Bryson DeChambeau having a nickname for a golf club isn’t surprising.
This is Bryson DeChambeau we’re talking about. He lives for the corny. He is himself a walking meme. He tried to break the game of golf only for it to break him first. This dude does not abide by the typical norms of the sport as he reminds us again and again.
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So, yes, Bryson having a fun moniker for a club always seemed like a given. It turns out, however, he has named pretty much ALL of his clubs. And, listen, we’re all for DeChambeau living his best life, but that doesn’t mean he had to make all the nicknames public.
Now that he has — and NBC so heroically shared the names on Friday’s U.S. Open broadcast — we have no choice but to rank them. You can spoil the names for yourself here, if you must. We simply choose to count them down from the cringiest to the most cliché.
Mar 7, 2021; Orlando, Florida, USA; Bryson DeChambeau holds the champions trophy after winning the Arnold Palmer Invitational golf tournament at Bay Hill Club & Lodge. Mandatory Credit: Reinhold Matay-USA TODAY Sports ORG
Ok, DeChambeau gets a slight pass here. If you’re going to name your club after Arnold Palmer, this is how you do it. Bonus points here considering Bryson has already won the Arnold Palmer Invitational.
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA – APRIL 12: Bryson DeChambeau of the United States looks on from the 18th green during the second round of the 2024 Masters Tournament at Augusta National Golf Club on April 12, 2024 in Augusta, Georgia. (Photo by Warren Little/Getty Images)
Now the real list begins.
The only reason you name your club Herman Keiser is to let people know that you know who won the Masters in 1946. You simply do not yell for your caddie to toss you the ol’ Keiser club without expecting your playing partner to shoot you a look that allows you to explain that the 46 degree club head represents the man who won a green jacket that year.
KIAWAH ISLAND, SOUTH CAROLINA – MAY 20: Bryson DeChambeau of the United States plays his second shot on the 11th hole during the first round of the 2021 PGA Championship at Kiawah Island Resort’s Ocean Course on May 20, 2021 in Kiawah Island, South Carolina. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)
Everything I said above holds true for this club, named after Harvie Ward, the low amateur at the 1955 U.S. Open (it’s a 55 degree club, but I didn’t have to tell you that at this point, did I?), however despite being a more obscure name, DeChambeau gets a little bit of credit here for adding the formal title. Just like the slightest amount.
Mar 6, 2021; Orlando, Florida, USA; Bryson DeChambeau hit shis drive on the first hole during the third round of the Arnold Palmer Invitational golf tournament at Bay Hill Club & Lodge. Mandatory Credit: Reinhold Matay-USA TODAY Sports
Shoutout to the 1950 Masters champion, I guess?
KOHLER, WISCONSIN – SEPTEMBER 21: Bryson DeChambeau of team United States speaks to the media prior to the 43rd Ryder Cup at Whistling Straits on September 21, 2021 in Kohler, Wisconsin. (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)
You just absolutely know Bryson mutters “corner pocket” under his breath when he pulls out this club.
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Tin Cup is no doubt a great movie. It’s also become so cliché around the sport that your playing group might fine you for bringing it up. It’s seriously moved into Caddyshack territory. You don’t name your club after Tin Cup if you don’t want to spend the rest of the round getting quotes off.
DETROIT, MICHIGAN – JULY 04: Bryson DeChambeau of the United States looks on over the fourth green during the third round of the Rocket Mortgage Classic on July 04, 2020 at the Detroit Golf Club in Detroit, Michigan. (Photo by Stacy Revere/Getty Images)
Naming your club after Jackie Robinson is fine, since the former Dodgers star was also noted for his love of the links, but it’s also just a little weird, right? Asking your caddie to hand you Jackie Robinson? It just doesn’t sound right, even if the club does have a 42 degree head.
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA – NOVEMBER 11: Bryson DeChambeau of the United States plays his tee shot during a practice round prior to the Masters at Augusta National Golf Club on November 11, 2020 in Augusta, Georgia. (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images)
Because it’s the third letter of the Greek alphabet. Really. That was the best he could come up with. Feels like he couldn’t just skipped this one. He could’ve skipped all of them, though. No one is forcing him to do this!
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Don’t name your club after a hole at Augusta National. That’s tempting fate on a whole new level. And you especially shouldn’t name your club after…
JERSEY CITY, NEW JERSEY – AUGUST 10: Bryson DeChambeau of the United States walks on the fifth hole during the third round of The Northern Trust at Liberty National Golf Club on August 10, 2019 in Jersey City, New Jersey. (Photo by Jared C. Tilton/Getty Images)
The most well-known feature of Augusta!
Bryson, dude. You’ve never finished better than sixth at the Masters in eight tries. You’ve missed the cut at the tournament twice. This would be like LaMelo Ball naming his jump shot “Michael Jordan”. It can only come back to embarrass you.
Well, actually, it already has.