My Boss Had a Medical Emergency. But What He’s Been Doing at Work Since Then Is Making Everyone Miserable.

Good Job is Slate’s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here. (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Good Job,

My boss recently had to go to the emergency room.

The trouble is that he won’t stop subjecting everyone to the gory details. He takes offense easily, and no one wants to be the one to tell him to stop. Do you have any suggestions on how to shut him down without getting fired, or are we doomed to listen to his disgusting story until he moves on?

—Too Much Information

Dear Too Much Information,

I apologize ahead of time to anyone who works in mental health care. You’ve all done so much to reduce stigma and encourage people to get help when they need it. It would be really very wrong to use persisting stigma to get out of an awkward situation at work. And some of the worst trolls are “concern trolls,” who say “I’m just worried about…” to use concern to undermine people. What I’m about to advise you may well be wrong and gross. Whether it is or not depends on your boss.

When you have a private moment with your boss, tell him you’re all worried about him. It must have been traumatizing to go to the ER. You all respect his privacy about personal medical matters and are surprised that he is sharing personal details with his staff. You wonder if he needs help processing the trauma, since it is still weighing so heavily on his mind. Is there an employee assistance program (EAP) he could refer to? Maybe he should talk to someone?

If he’s been talking about the gory details because he enjoys making people uncomfortable, he might be embarrassed or frustrated to find out that he comes across as damaged rather than dominant. More generously, maybe he really is traumatized and can’t get over it, and a good therapist will help.

—Laura

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