Woman Furious at How Mom Friend Treats Her—Years Later Has Realization

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Daniella Gray is a Newsweek Family & Parenting Reporter based in London, U.K. Her focus is on family dynamics, childhood development, parenting styles, U.S. education and current trends in family and parenting practices. She has covered breaking and original news on topics such as family relationships, national education schemes and parenting hacks, while securing exclusives with high-profile celebrity moms, including Ayda Field-Williams and Ella Mills. Daniella joined Newsweek in May 2024 and had previously worked at parenting website goodto.com. She holds a Print Journalism BA Hons Degree and an NCTJ Diploma in Journalism from Nottingham Trent University. You can get in touch with Daniella by emailing d.gray@newsweek.com.

Daniella Gray

Family and Parenting Reporter

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A childfree woman who traveled across London to see her best friend didn’t get the reunion she was hoping for.

Talja, who asked not to publish her last name, was expecting a long overdue catch up, but instead, she spent most of the evening with her best friend’s husband, while her friend was upstairs putting their baby down for the night.

Talja, based in California, posted about the whole situation on Threads (@matte.finish.mama) and explained how she’d “schlepped” across London to see her best friend and given the time it would take her to get home, she only had around 30 minutes until she had to leave.

“I was flabbergasted that someone could be so blind to that. And, why couldn’t her husband have put him down?!” she wrote.

Talja told Newsweek she was annoyed and confused by this. “Her hubby and I get along great, but I’d come to spend time with her, not him,” the 39-year-old said. “And at that point, I really couldn’t fathom what was taking so long—surely you just put them down and they go to sleep?!”

But years later, Talja became a mother and the realization hit her, explaining that now she has a 3-year-old, she finally understands.

“Once I had my little one and I went through the bedtime struggles of settling her down, feeling that tug in my chest that made me want to make sure she felt safe,” she told Newsweek. “I had the perspective I needed to see it from where my friend had been standing some years before.”

Talja never spoke to her friend about that evening in London, though it lingered as an “awkward memory” in her mind.

“I never mentioned my annoyance and hurt to her about that evening. I never knew how to broach the subject—and now I’m glad I never did,” she told Newsweek.

“She did exactly what she needed to be doing and although that evening was an awkward memory, like a thorn in my side, for a long time, when I finally had the perspective and understood, something inside me settled.”

For others who may be in a similar situation to Talja all those years ago, she recommends to try not to take it personally.

“Being a mom changes you in so many ways,” she told Newsweek. “Your priorities shift. If you’re the friend that doesn’t have a kid yet, know that it’s nothing against you—your friends still love you and love spending time with you, they just have something that needs them more than you do.”

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